Wednesday, July 17, 2002

Go to calendar

Home           Previous Page    Go to Photo Album

In an attempt at detente', Joe agrees to allow Animal to publish his commentary under his own byline.  To further cement enhanced relations between Joe and Animal, it is suggested that the two share their ride on the same bicycle.  It was the best of times and the worst of times.

ON THE ROAD WITH ANIMAL
BY ANIMAL KEATING, ESQ.

ROYTERS:  JULY 17, 2002

Yesterday I enjoyed a very pleasant ride with Chelsea and Sheila.  The ride was pleasant and I was treated with the utmost respect and affection. 

Today's ride began with me stuck on Joe's back facing the rear (his not mine) as we proceeded across the countryside, our journey was punctuated with huffs and puffs and occasional moans and groans.  This is a far cry from the smooth and tender ministrations experienced yesterday while riding with the girls.

Now that I am a nationally recognized correspondent, I would think that my treatment should be better than this.  I attempted cellular phone contact with Sheila but her line was busy.  I tried waving at John but slow boat Joe is at the rear of the pack as per usual so all I get to see is Janette and Chelsea in the truck behind us. 

We are heading south on our way north to Virginia.  Joe says that he is following Sheila.  Sheila says that she is following Lane.  Lane says that he is following John.  John just keeps pedaling.  I know not where we go but we are sure getting there in a hurry.  Joe continues to insist that the quickest distance between two points is always downhill.  Sometimes, I wonder about these people. 

This will probably be my last column and the end of the shortest journalistic career in the history of puppetry.  Having to ride on Joe's back and listen to his diatribe all the while weaving across the road into oncoming traffic, is asking too much of any animal. 

It has been my pleasure to share this part of the journal with you.  Joe told me if I was nice to him today, that he would take me skydiving tomorrow.  I think his words were, "If you are nice to me today, Animal, I promise to throw you out of an airplane tomorrow.  And, if you are not nice to me today, I will throw you out of the airplane anyway."  Until then, reporting from Historic Louisburg, NC, I remain yours truly, Animal in the Field. -33-

Return to Top of Page