Ride to State College, Pa
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Ride to State College, Pa
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Jim discovers a bike soul mate and tries to work a trade. He tries to convince him that his pedal powered bike is actually a cleverly designed Harley that he is testing for the Harley Davidson Foundation. Jim claims that his bike is built to run on airborne particles of carbon monoxide and puts out twice the power of a motorcycle with four times the level of audio output due to a super secret energy chip patterned after an extra terrestrial sound board developed by the US government. Jim's Irish gift of gab fails to dazzle Bruce Haines, from Southampton, NJ and is resigned to pedaling his old dog to State College. Nice try Jim.
Here the two veteran riders, after maladjusting freshman Bill's front brake calipers, zoom down a 10 percent grade with poor Bill lagging behind.
Bill is finally able to disconnect his front brake and rushes to catch up to his two snickering compadres. Joe once again tells Jim and Bill how honored he is to ride with such magnificant human beings.
To preserve their sanity, Bill and Jim plot to edge Joe off the end of a steep embankment and to make it look like an accident. Joe starts to sing "My Dingaling" as the dynamic duo edge closer.
Joe's continued existence is preserved as the trio run out of downhill and Joe ends up trailing behind and out of harm's way.
With no more downhills to ride, the trio is forced to actually pedal their bicycles. Jim and Bill pick up the pace. Trying to keep up, poor Joe is running out of breath and unable to continue with his vocal entertainment. Jim and Bill just smile.
Confronted with a confusing array of road signs, Joe checks both of his GPSs, sight reduction tables, and astronomical charts and determines that the best course of action is to flip a coin. This he does while pedaling and is unable to determine whether the coin lands heads or tails due to his forward velocity. Failing with his tried and true method of determining direction, Joe visually confirms which side of the trees have moss growing on them and is finally able to get the group heading in the general direction of State College.
Taking the lead, Joe confers with a local garbage truck and using a discarded candy wrapper is able to have the sanitation worker draw a map. Armed with the map and using a magnetized needle, Joe travels the final few miles through scenic countryside to arrive at the only point in the globe that has a Starbucks and an A&W root beer collocated at the same point. Joe's navigational skills continue to be world renown. Joe smiles. Bill and Jim just roll their eyes.
Having successfully completed our ride into State College, we stop at RBR, a renown Mecca for Bacchetta recumbent riders.
We are greeted by Rob who assures Joe that recumbents can actually climb hills at a speed that is somewhat faster than a snail. Joe redoubles his efforts and will return to his speedy recumbent down in the valley.
In the meantime, the traveling circus tries various recumbents and trikes. Despite their speed, comfort, and stability, Joe is not about to give up his Bacchetta recumbent for a low riding, rumble strip riding trike.
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