July 2, 2007

Visitation at
HealthSouth Rehab Hospital of Alexandria


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The boys in blue from the Alexandria Police Department Traffic Division arrive early.














Here they are having their pictures taken prior to serving Abel a warrant for impersonating a tall person.










We have a wonderful five mile ride through the Historic section of Alexandria.  We arrive at HealthSouth...













to a warm welcome from staff, patients, visitors, and friends...











waving American flags which were in abundance.











Cliff and Joe cruise into the facility.  Cliff is tempted to squash the bubble bug with one hand but resists the temptation.  Joe, in a final, desperate, last act of defiance, raises the wrong finger to Cliff, and escapes to fight another day.





A warm greeting from a true lady who braved the heat and humidity to greet the riders. 











Abel conducts an interrogation in the field.  Edmund is asked if he has relatives in the old country.  Denying all knowledge, Edmund pleads the fifth.  Abel agrees to drop all charges if Edmund will attest to the fact that Abel, at 3 ft 3 inches, is a lot taller than Joe. 













Cliff does his 108 year old woman imitation by stooping over and talking Cajun.  He fails to impress the local natives who can see through his charade.  No self respecting Cajun would wear a blue cap with Spandex shorts.







Cliff tries asking Ronnie to wear his blue cap.  Ronnie knows that if he does, he will have to ride with Joe and Abel in the truck, or worse yet, have to drive the vehicle that tries to follow Joe.  It is a no brainer.  Ronnie decides to remain behind with his harem of attending women and wishes Cliff well.  Cliff, is reduced to tears and continues his search for someone less discerning than Ronnie.  








Another patient, another ploy.  The cap returns to Cliff each and every time.  Joe just smiles.











Louie in a temporary moment of confusion is fooled into thinking Cliff is a long lost Cajun brethren.  Cliff slides the blue cap onto Louie, who in a moment of lucid reality realizes he will have to take Cliff's place on the Amputees Across America grand tour.  Rather than associate with the likes of Joe and Abel, Louie chooses a course of self immolation.  Cliff is devastated,  not with the demise of Louie, but with the prospect of having to put up with Joe and Abel for another three weeks.  



Despite the best efforts of the psychiatric community, the AAA traveling team continue their journey of psychotic revelry and the self denial of insanity.   







Cliff continues to ply patients with empty promises of early release from the clutches of HealthSouth physical and occupational therapists and into the custody of Joe and Abel. Resigned to his fate, Cliff curls up in a fetal position and denies all knowledge of Amputees Across America and escapes in the only way he knows how, dreaming of the day that he no longer has to contend with the constant yammering of Abel and Joe. 



And so concludes another visitation, where Amputees Across America continues to spread its message to the many unsuspecting inmates of local prisons and hospitals.

 HealthSouth Rehabilitation Hospital of Alexandria, you outdid yourself in hospitality and for putting up with our antics.  To Edmund Kemp, CEO, and Bill Bush, DMO, we thank you for hosting our visit with warmth and grace, your unstinting dedication to the wonderful care of your patients, and for allowing us, this one day, to be a part of what you and every HealthSouth facility do so well... the care and welfare of patients.  We wish you well in forming the support group that will serve your community and hope in future visits, with the return of sanity, that we can see you all again.






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