Ride to Lexington, Ky
|
|
Ride to Lexington, Ky
|
|
|
 An anti-terrorist terrorist retaliates for the Great Pig Snatch of 2008 and manages to pull down a leg snatch from the terrorist. Upon delivery of an unnamed sum of unmarked, non consecutive bills, the leg will be returned in exchange for Pig3. |
Billy Bob and Lukas cruise the hills of Kentucky on their steeds of speed. Though only a 4 mile run, the boys manage to get their speeds up beyond 30 mph.
|
 Bill is seen here pulling ahead of Luke. He was unable to reach 40 mph due to the aerodynamic drag of his goatee. Luke also incurred an increased drag coefficient every time he opened his mouth to harass Billy Bob. Tis a wonder they made it to the bottom of the hill without running each other over. |
 Joe tries his hand at the downhill speed run. He is shown here testing the direction of the wind with his wet thumb. |
 Joe is shown climbing a huge hill. Joe thinks that he is riding in a hurricane as he glides to an uphill speed of 35 mph. Joe proves his point that all hills are optical illusions and that it is the incipent push of hurricane force winds that make you believe you are traveling downhill. As you can tell by the picture, it definitely is an uphill climb. |
|
|
 Here AJ, the incipient wind riding champion practices her high speed technique of hill riding. |
 She finally divulges her secret. Her speed is enhanced by the push of the pink flamingo attached to her tiara. Bill is aghast that he was overrun by the efforts of AJ and her flaming pink thingamajig. |
 Here is a closer look at the thingamajig. You can see the energy pods which capture the gaseous byproducts of her morning burrito and Dr Pepper which then stimulate the feathers of a dormant pink flamingo. The result, energy free speed. |
 Upon Pig's safe return, a positive identification is made by comparing Pig's teeth with his Grandpa Joe. |
 Upon arrival at Hi-Tech Artificial Limbs in Lexington, Ky., Joe had a foot replacement operation. His recovery is nothing short of miraculous due largely to a lifestyle of clean living, an obsession in promoting pigs as superior pets, and a diet comprised solely of pork, pork products, and lard. Joe checks with the police and finds that he does not need to register himself with them as a pork predator. |
 Not to be outdone by Joe, Bill has an extra hand grafted to the side of his chest. He plans to patent it as a Kentucky computer that has the ability to count to 15 without taking his shoes off. |
|
|
|
|