Ride to Topeka
|
|
Ride to Topeka
|
|
|
 How can we accurately describe today’s ride? Corn--lots of corn. Corn in all directions. Tall corn. Short corn. Green corn. It was a really corny day.
|
 Joe plops Luke and AJ out into the hot sunshine and then drives away laughing. As the two ride across at least 183 rumble strips, AJ curses Joe’s name and vows vengeance. Luke, on the other hand, is happy that he doesn’t have to listen to another chorus of “We Love You, Lukas” as performed by Little Joe and the princess.
|
 Joe consumed 3 pounds of red beans last night. Needless to say, nobody wanted to be anywhere near him today. We’re trying to decide if he did it on purpose. For now, the evidence is pointing in that direction. He was spotted today leisurely drinking coffee and reading the latest issue of “Lil Bit” magazine while following Luke and AJ who were huffing and puffing up numerous hills.
|
 Ah, the bright Kansas sky. Oh, the lightly floating Kansas clouds. AAAAACK, the glaring Kansas sun! Ugh, the red Kansas sunburn.
|
 When Joe told Luke to “make like a tree and leave,” he didn’t think he’d take it so seriously. Here we see our Luke pretending to be a tree while riding at the same time. Show off.
|
 After riding for at least 32 seconds, AJ pulls over for a pit stop as she is on the verge of being parched. Joe has put AJ and Luke on a no-liquids diet plan in order to reduce the number of pit stops the tribe has to make. This will save time and will allow Joe to have a number of 5-minute power naps along the way. Incidentally, Joe is also continuing his “no ice” policy too but only because Janette is not along for the ride.
|
 Having completed the Mini-Mo school of cycling, visions of grandeur roll through Luke’s mind as he emulates Abel’s unique riding style down to even stealing one of Abel’s jerseys to wear over his t-shirt. Luke decides, however, that the shirt looked better on Abel as he is quite fond of pony kegs.
|
|
|
 Ever the multi-tasker, Joe drives, laughs at a joke, drinks coffee, adjusts the radio volume, works the GPS system, and lets his leg take an abbreviated air bath all at the same time. Thank heavens the driver of a passing van wasn’t seriously hurt when he immediately lost control of his vehicle upon seeing Joe’s “broken” leg hanging out of the window.
|
Luke, desperate from being on the road with two nut cases, tries to get any chick to call him that rides by in a passing car. Unfortunately you can’t see that his phone number is written on his jersey: 1-888-HELP-MEE.
|
 After Joe tampered with Abel’s truck “just a little,” Abel had to hop a train in order to head back to Albuquerque as his truck smelled like raw fish and had four flat tires.
|
|
|