Travel to Morgantown, WV
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Travel to Morgantown, WV
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 Today AJ learned about “hill hopscotch.” This is how the game is played. First, you have to have one cyclist (preferably without feet or a knee) that thinks uphill climbs kinda bite. Second, the aforementioned cyclist is dropped off at the highest point or the (slightly impaired) driver’s best guesstimate thereof. Third, the footless or kneeless rider zooms down the hill as fast as possible. Next, the rider uses the momentum from flying down the hill to help them go up part of the next mountain. Fifth, said rider pedals until their prosthetic device feels as if it is going to plunge to the ground and leave the rider high and dry at which point he/she pulls off the road. Sixth, the rider loads his/her bike into the bed of the slightly impaired driver’s truck and hops into the truck as quickly as possible. Then, the slightly impaired driver pulls off and drives to the top of the next hill. Last, the cyclist gets his/her bike from the bed of the truck, slides back into the saddle, and repeats the game beginning at step 3. |
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AJ decided to beat the
Amputees Across America downhill speed record and would have as she
approached her max speed, she looked to her right and saw she was being
passed by a guy on foot carrying a backpack that weighed approximately 291
pounds. Giving up any hope of beating the speed record, AJ
accosted Dennis (The Ministry of the Sheep) with cornnuts, spicy beef
jerkey, and fig newtons in order to subdue him. After scooping up the snacks
and forgiving AJ for not getting out of his way, Dennis explained that he
has a walking ministry and is currently on a 4,000-mile trip by foot.
Thanks, Dennis, for having courage and conviction. Happy trails, my friend.
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 As
AJ began to run out of monster hills to play hopscotch with, cycling quickly
became a chore and she relinquished the saddle for the backseat of Joe’s
truck. Doc, not knowing that the monster hills were running out, took to the
road… |
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 only
to find that AJ had stuck him with a 1-mile short downhill followed by a
steady uphill climb 6 miles in length. On Joe’s promise of a steaming cup of
Dunkin’ Donuts coffee around the next curve, Doc cycled onward and upward… |
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 and
upward…and upward…and upward until he figured out that AJ is a dirty
scallywag and Joe is a creative (and untruthful) storyteller.
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 We
don’t want any of our family members or friends to be alarmed but…did you
know that Joe can drive, talk on the phone via Bluetooth, chew on fiery
trail mix, and NAP at the same time?! |
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| This just goes to show you that you have to go through Pennsylvania in order to get anywhere in West Virginia. Yes, these pictures were taken within 10 feet of each other. We’re just trying to figure out which state is the real culprit of this atrocity. Joe says that it’s West Virginia but he may be mistaken. Actually, Joe proves by these pictures that via a space warp, one must pass through Pennsylvania in order to get from Parkersburg, WV to Morgantown, WV. |
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