Travel to Evansville, IN
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Travel to Evansville, IN
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| In Memorium |
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| It is with great sadness for us to report the passing of Jerry Suggs, who would rather be remembered as that crusty old fart. Jerry was one of the founders of Amputees Across America and he has made his mark on everything we do. After his ride in 2002, Jerry has returned year after year to add his message to our voice. We will long remember his gruff vinegary voice and never forget his soft generous heart, the impact that will remain long after his departure from this life. Jerry, it has been a helluva ride we have taken together, we will remember you, and your presence will be felt on every ride hereafter. Fair winds and following seas old fella. |
 Joe, fresh and rested from his 1 minute power nap at a red light, plots the accidental/on purpose smack-down of the Rev. B. Dogg who is to rendezvous with our group later today. What evil lurks behind your jolly exterior, Joseph? |
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 Joe would like everyone to notice just how clean the trailer is looking these days. Of course, the windscreen is extremely bugged up and we have no ice or liquids but at least t the trailer looks clean and shiny. |
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 After finding his bicycle all caddywhompus after being trampled by a group of disorderly bumpkins this morning, Doc examines his wallet only to find that an overnight swarm of greenback leather locusts seems to have done away with all of his assets (from his wallet, not his behind—though that may explain his lack of posterior padding). |
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 AJ gets ready to show the guys how to effectively use the world’s largest pickle-colored straw to chug Gatorade and water in order to make thunderous rolling burps. |
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 After
hours of preparation, meticulous in every detail, AJ is finally able to
perch upon her steed and depart the area with Joe following closely behind. |
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 Doc slows down as AJ lets loose with one of the afore mentioned thunderous rolling Gatorade and water burps with the aim of not being knocked off his saddle when the odiferous cyclone of bananas, peanut butter, and Gatorade wafts out of AJ and into the air.
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 Doc still hesitates pulling up beside AJ not knowing if her belch-machine is still revved into high gear. |
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 As
Doc pedals by miles and miles of corn, he passes time by naming the many
different uses for corn: cornbread, corn on the cob, cream corn, popcorn,
corn muffins, corny jokes, cornrows, corned beef, corningware, cornerstones,
and corner gas stations just to name a few. |
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 AJ makes an emergency stop to report Joe as an impaired driver. The local police agree that he is definitely impaired when she explains that he makes frequent j-turns, engages in the occasional clover-j turn, and jumps curbs on a regular and on-going basis. |
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 Here
the idyllic couple pass the scene of the previous night's barn dance where
Doc danced the night away with a Kentucky Belle. AJ responds that the
only bell that she saw was around the neck of a cow. |
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 Upon hearing that Doc is constantly laughing in the face of danger and spends his time looking for a good place to practice his BMX skills, the locals put up a sign to deter him from being a bad influence on the neighborhood kids. |
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 Before
riding today, AJ donned some of Abel’s extra strength bug repellant that
consists of balsamic vinegar, garlic, olive oil, mescal, tequila, watermelon
seed juice, and a splash of lime for a zesty smell. She found that it indeed
repelled deer, antelope, salmon, water buffalo, giraffes, humans, small
pygmies, and turkeys of various sorts, however it seemed to attract hills.
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 Princess, Pig 4, and the yodeling Pickle arrive safely back at the truck after being chased by farmers claiming to have seen the biggest ear of corn ever. |
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 Another side effect of Abel’s extra strength bug repellant is that three fingers on your left hand will spontaneously fall off and your tongue will try to run away from your mouth. |
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 The Princess doesn’t seem quite as perky after a long corny ride first thing in the morning. This is definitely not a happy face. |
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